Danny's Football Bluff

December 16, 2013

16th December, 2013

As the majority of teams in the A-League go about the business of confusing the shite out of punters by losing games they should win and vice-versa. Brisbane Roar has been grinding out solid wins over the past month and suddenly have a five point gap on second place Western Sydney Wanderers. The majority of these matches have been won by a solitary goal. Positive football fans would say that Roar is implementing inspired Mourinho style tactics to achieve victory, but most of us would agree they’re boring the other teams to sleep.

The big match overnight was Liverpool thumping Tottenham Hotspur 5-0, putting the Reds in second place on the EPL ladder and placing Spurs manager Andres Villas-Boas under intense pressure to resign. Tottenham fans took to social media demanding @AVB leave the club immediately. Sadly @AVB is the twitter handle of Ashley Van Buren, a musical theatre fan from New York City. Ashley responded to angry Spurs fans with musical lyrics. Including a certain song from Carousel that Liverpool fans know quite well.

Andres Villas Boas could go for the job of manager of West Bromwich Albion after they sacked Steve Clarke after four straight losses. Australia’s West Brom fans were shocked until they remembered they were actually West Ham fans and went back to checking facebook.

Saturday night saw one of the matches of the season when Manchester City defeated Arsenal 6-3. Gunners fans are claiming that the referee got several offside decisions wrong. This blogger has watched several replays using slow motion and a protractor and I can honestly say they have a case and should have lost 6-4. Maintain the rage!

Goal of the Week – Gary Hooper from Norwich

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September 23, 2013

September 23rd, 2013

The Manchester Derby is now one of the greatest spectacles in world football, up until the last few years the only interest was how much would United win by? These days though now that City have enough money to make Scrooge McDuck look like he should be selling the Big Issue, it’s usually a great spectacle. Last night I went in to the Charles Dickens Hotel in Melbourne to take in the big match. Now I don’t mind United, my Uncle Ron supports them and watching Dwight Yorke dominate in the late 90s is one my most enduring memories of my teens. However as I learned more about the English game I came to realize they can be a shower of wankers at times. City on the other hand, you can’t help but feel sorry for, until you realize they have simply bought all their recent success. These factors usually end up with me being a neutral observer in the City v United games. Last night however there was one youngish Red Devils fan who decided an hour before the match was the right time to start singing United songs at the top of his voice. He carried on for 30 minutes, despite nobody else in the pub joining in. He’s determination to continue would have been impressive if it wasn’t so completely irritating. He also only knew three songs, which he did on rotation. I would go far as to say this lad was a typical Manchester United fan, as in he is steadfast in his love for the side, and has never visited Manchester in his life.

I left to watch the game at home, praying hard for City to thump their rivals so that dickhead would have a bad night. My prayers were answered! City smashed them 4-1. United’s tactics seemed to be allow City to hold possession then hope they find it in their hearts not to score a goal.

The other big derby last night was in Rome with AS Roma defeating Lazio 2-0. Francesco Totti, who has been at Roma since Julius Caesar granted him eternal life in 50bc, managed to draw a penalty in the 81st minute.

Sunderland have sacked their coach Paolo DiCanio. As was mentioned last week, DiCanio is proper mental. On Saturday after Sunderland were defeated by West Bromwich Albion 3-0, DiCanio approached his own fans offering to fight them. He will now spend his days writing angry emails to newspapers about the fluoridisation of water.

Socceroo Robbie Kruse scored twice for Bayer Leverkusen in the Bundesliga. He is looking very likely to join Australia’s World Cup squad for Brazil next year. He is apparently looking forward to spending some quality time on the bench.

Goal of the Week –

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