Danny's Football Bluff

May 14, 2012

May 14th, 2012

By now you would have heard that Manchester City are the champions of England. What you may not have fully realised is how closely their victory followed the script of a Mighty Ducks film. They came into the final day needing only to defeat cellar dwellers Queens Park Rangers to secure their first League Championship in forty-four years. They so nearly cocked it up. When the ninety minutes of normal playing time was up, City were down 2-1. They didn’t look like scoring, then Edin Dzeko, who will be played by Pacey from Dawson’s Creek in the inevitable telemovie, headed it truly from a corner kick to give the Blue half of Manchester hope.
At this point, Manchester United had defeated Sunderland and if things remained as they were, the Red Devils would have stolen the title from right under City’s noses. Enter Sergio Aguero [to be played by John Leguiziamo or Michael Cera, budget pending] who scored a goal that will live on in Manchester City folklore forever. The City of Manchester Stadium erupted with scenes of such relief, joy and adulation, it brought a tear to this blogger’s eye. All it needed was Emilio Estevez to learn the true meaning of friendship and it would have been perfect.

At the other end of the table, Bolton Wanderers can claim they have been well and truly shafted. Their 2-2 draw with Stoke means they are relegated to the championship next season, however both Stoke goals were highly controversial. A high ball to Bolton keeper Adam Bogdan should have been an easy catch but Stoke striker Jon Walters absolutely shirtfronted the goalie who then dropped the ball into his own net. Bolton scored two great goals and had some hope but a penalty to Stoke was awarded. According to rumour, this penalty was very controversial, so controversial in fact, that this blogger could not find footage of it online. Can anyone help a hungover amateur football writer out?

Sydney FC are expected to unveil Englishman Ian Crook as their new head coach after being knocked back by Central Coast Mariners boss Graham Arnold and Crystal Palace’s Tony Popovic. The appointment comes as a relief to fans of the Sky Blues, as the next viable option was to have the player’s Mums and Dads take turns managing the club on a weekly basis.
Goal of the week: Forgive the horrid music, but admire the blatant audacity!

March 19, 2012

March 19th 2012

It was an unhappy day for Scottish Football yesterday. Not only because Celtic lost to Kilmarnock in the League Cup Final. No really, it’s fine, it’s good for football. I’m not mad, honestly. Just stop asking okay? Sheez. However the joy for the Ayrshire team was short lived after midfielder Liam Kelly’s father Jack collapsed at the final whistle and died of a heart attack. The feeling in the Killie rooms was described as ‘despondent’. This, combined with Bolton Wanderer’s Fabrice Muamba suffering cardiac arrest during his side’s fixture against Tottenham, has made it a sobering weekend of football. For the record, Kilmarnock’s keeper Cammy Bell played the game of his life making nine saves and ruining Celtic’s treble dreams. Now can we talk about something else?

Who can still win a domestic Treble for season 2011/12? Well, Liverpool would need a mathematical miracle to win the Premier League but they could do a League Cup/FA Cup double after they swept aside Stoke City. Barcelona won the Supacopa de Espana and is in the final of the Copa Del Rey, however they are eight points adrift of Real Madrid in La Liga, so they’re unlikely. In France Paris St Germaine may also go two out of three, as they are on top of the Ligue 1 and in the semi finals of the Coupe de France. In other leagues it is only possible to win the double – in Italy Juventus and AC Milan are still alive in all contests, same for Borussia Dortmond, Bayern Munich and Borussia Monchengladbach. So come on glory hunters! Pick a team and get bandwagon jumping before the season’s over!

In England, where there are about eight matches remaining, things are heating up for the pivotal relegation/promotion race. Realistically the five teams that could drop out of the Premier League are: Wolverhampton, Wigan, Queens Park Rangers, Bolton and Blackburn. Eager to take their place are championship contenders: Southampton, Reading, West Ham, Birmingham, Blackpool, Middlesbrough, Hull, Cardiff and Brighton. You may think that in the A-League we don’t have relegations but think again. Last year’s cellar dwellers North Queensland Fury were dissolved after finishing last, a fate that may await Gold Coast United as well. Although that’s not so much ‘relegated’ as ‘disappeared up Clive Palmer’s arse’.

On a more positive note the A-League finals begin in two weeks. To remind you 1st and 2nd play each other over two legs for the right to host the Grand Final. 3rd play 6th as well as the 4th and 5th, these are knock out comps, the winners play each other for the chance to play the loser of the 1st v 2nd matches in the preliminary final which is played over two legs, the winner advancing to the grand final. Confused? Understandable – to be brutally honest, just enjoy the football and wait for the inevitable Central Coast v Brisbane grand final.

Embarrassment of the week – there are many times to fake an injury, I’ve just never seen it done after celebrating a goal. [At the 3.44 mark!]

Goal of the week –

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