Danny's Football Bluff

March 18, 2013

March 18th, 2013

Filed under: Weekly Wraps — Tags: , , — dannymcginlay @ 12:27 pm

Come on people! It’s the day after St Patrick’s Day and you expect me to write a blog? I’ve just done three weeks of my new stand up show at the Adelaide Fringe and Brisbane Comedy Festival, and last night my relatives were in which made the wedding night sex routine a tad awkward.
As for football I’ll keep it brief. [I know I did this last week but Festival season is a killer and I’m the Virgin Australia lounge about to board a flight home, so time is of the essence.]
England – Tottenham Hotspur lost to Fulham, Schwarzer made some classic saves.
Scotland – Celtic came from 3-1 down to knock off Aberdeen 4-3. Especially good for St Paddy’s Day. Ooh Guinness burp, not good.
Australia – a comedian did a bunch of gigs then went out drinking with other comics. He promises he will write a better blog next week. Now please keep it down.

January 21, 2013

21st January, 2013

In a battle of the big clubs with managers that their fans don’t like – Chelsea defeated Arsenal in London overnight. Arsene Wenger has blamed his side’s poor performances on his players breaking the little rules of their code of conduct. For example not turning up to meetings on time, reading newspapers in the dressing rooms and wearing incorrect shoes to training. Most pundits would also argue that defending like idiots and not shooting straight may have been a contributing factor.

At White Hart Lane, Sir Alex Ferguson had a much more traditional excuse for Manchester Utd not beating Tottenham – blaming the linesman. Former Arsenal striker Robin Van Persie put the Red Devils ahead in the 25th minute which pissed off the Spurs fan no end. The Tottenham faithful were the angriest folk on Earth, which only prompted the ever competitive Fergie to turn on his perma-rage and prove that no one can match him when it comes to fury. He berated every player, every official and even the weather as the snow came down, although United were still leading. Thankfully Tottenham scored in the dying minutes and Sir Alex was once again crowned the angry, wicked king of Narnia.

Sydney FC may have started a late season surge towards the finals by demolishing Wellington Phoenix 7-1 at ANZ stadium. Alessandro Del Piero scored four goals and set up most of the others. The New Zealand press has claimed that Phoenix’s match was the worst performance by a New Zealander since Russell Crowe in Les Miserables.

Exciting news for young Socceroo Tom Rogic who has signed with Celtic. Of course esteemed pundit Craig Foster has claimed moving to the rather scrappy Scottish Premier League is a mistake. He is right, as he always is – Tim Cahill made the same mistake when he played for Millwall, Mark Schwarzer too when he played for Dynamo Dresden, and don’t get me started on Harry Kewell going to Leeds United. All those talents have been wasted and I believe all three are now at Centrelink looking to score heroin.

The most exciting young manager of the moment has finally chosen a club, Pep Guardiola will coach Bayern Munich from next season. The former Barcelona magician was courted by everyone from the Brazilian National Team to the mega rich Manchester City, whose next manager remains a mystery. A source has said – “it really could be anyone, obviously except obviously Mehmet Durakovic.

Miss of the week: [Even Ronaldo misses sitters!]

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