Danny's Football Bluff

April 2, 2012

2nd April 2012
The big rumour circulating the A-league at the moment is the possibility of Italian legend Gianfranco Zola being linked with the Melbourne Victory coaching position. It’s a bit of a trainwreck at Australia’s biggest club at the moment, caretaker manager Jim Magilton was allegedly told he had the position full time, however the board have done an about face and told him he must reapply for the job. Without a manager a football department cannot function, and yet the Victory are cutting players and negotiating contracts. The only logical conclusion is that Victory chairman Anthony Di Pietro is an Adelaide United fan who has gone deep undercover to bring the team down as revenge for the 07 & 09 Grand Finals.

Brisbane Roar’s Ange Postecoglou is another rumoured possibility for the Victory post. It would be far from his mind though as the Queensland team took a commanding lead in the Major Semi final against Central Coast. The Roar hold a 2-0 lead going into next Sunday’s second leg, the winner earning a week’s break by progressing straight to the Grand Final. Mariner’s coach Graham Arnold was at his narky best when he claimed that having that weekend’s break would hurt whichever team was unlucky enough to win the semi final.

The title of World’s Narkiest manager at the moment must be Manchester City’s Roberto Mancini, who claimed that if title rivals Manchester United win their next two matches they will win the English Premier League. City are collapsing like an Italian in the penalty box at the moment, winning only one of their past four league matches. The only logical conclusion? Someone high up at City is an Adelaide United fan who has gone deep undercover to make sure a red team wins the league.

An ongoing debate for football fans has been who has been the bigger waste of money Fernando Torres who Chelsea bought for 50 million pounds from Liverpool last year, or Andy Carroll, whom Liverpool paid 35 million of said 50 million for from Newcastle. Usually it’s said Torres, who has only scored four goals for the Blues. [That’s 12.5 million per goal] However here’s an argument for Carroll being the bigger waste – in what can only be described as the stupidest dive ever!

Then again, Carroll never missed this:

Goal of the week:

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January 23, 2012

January 23rd, 2012

The Manchester clubs continued their dominance of the EPL. United saw off a hapless Arsenal who’s fans are turning on their fearless leader Arsene Wenger. Wenger admitted he made a “tactical error” by substituting Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain with Andrey Arsharvin in the 74th minute. Wenger justified his change by saying that Oxlade-Chamberlain was sick during the week, stopping just short of producing a note from Alex’s mother. Wenger’s excuses are almost as baffling as Robin Van Persie’s goal celebration where he produced a T shirt which seemed to wish Oprah Winfrey a happy 91st birthday.

 

Manchester City continued their home unbeaten run with a last minute penalty to snatch a 3-2 victory against Tottenham Hotspur. There were four goals in ten minutes, all of them brilliant in their own way: A Gareth Bale wondergoal, a Jermain Defoe suckerpunch, a pin point pass by David Silva to Samir Nasri, and Joleon Lescott even scored a try from a corner. As usual the talking point is Mario Ballotelli who attempted to squash Scott Parker’s nose with his heel. However, as he missed this is considered within the rules of the game.

Melbourne Victory continued their nightmare season with a 4-1 defeat by a dominant Perth Glory. New manager Jim Magilton said he was shocked and disappointed by the performance, he blamed a lack of confidence within players. This is contrary to popular belief that the form slump is due to a lack of any defensive talent.

Jim Magilton has been the subject of a major spat between broadcasters Craig Foster and Robbie Slater. Foster condemned the appointment of Magilton in his Sunday newspaper column, saying Australian soccer shouldn’t be reliant on Britons. Slater then accused Foster of racism. Both broadcasters seem to miss the fact that as Magilton is Northern Irish he is not British at all.
[Fact: Northern Ireland is part of the United Kingdom but not Britain, rather a touchy subject for some people, some of whom are blood relatives of this blogger]

Goal of the week – Miroslav Stoch of Fenerbache:

January 9, 2012

January 9th, 2012

The Football Bluff returns for 2012. The Christmas/New Year period offered up a plethora of stories, but here are the ones people will be talking about this week:

Melbourne Victory unveiled their new manager, Jim Magilton. Magilton’s last management position, at Queen’s Park Rangers, ended when the Northern Irishman allegedly headbutted one of his players during a halftime ‘chat’. Needless to say, Kevin Muscat has hailed the new manager as one of the true idealists of football.

Magilton’s first match will be against John Kosmina’s Adelaide United. Victoria Police have employed over a hundred more officers to keep the two management teams separate.

The weekend’s English football had a certain sense of déjà vu about it. Thierry Henry returned to Arsenal, Paul Scholes returned to Manchester United, and Manchester City returned to choking in derbies. The much touted clash between the two Manchester sides ended before half time with United dominating, although City captain Vincent Kompany suffered the harshest straight red card since Kewell against Ghana. Kompany tackled Nani, collecting the ball, however he used both feet which is technically illegal (to misquote the head Bureaucrat from Futurama, “The best kind of illegal”) and City paid the price.

It’s been a good month for Sunderland. Ever since new manager Martin O’Neill took the reins the Black Cats have only lost one match and claimed the scalp of Manchester City. It’s been so good that some fans are getting a bit handsy…

It’s been a bad month for Liverpool, dropping points against cellar dwellers Wigan and Blackburn, Stewart Downing being questioned by police over an assault and star player Luis Suarez being banned for eight matches for racially abusing Patrice Evra. Suarez claimed that ‘negro’ is not used derogatorily in Spanish. However, he could not explain the Nazi salute and burning cross he erected.

It seems David Beckham is staying in Los Angeles for another season. Beckham was expected to leave LA for French side PSG but the deal was halted when Beckham realised he’d have to memorise another letter.

Goal of the week [You’ve probably seen it, but it’s worth another look]

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