Danny's Football Bluff

May 27, 2013

May 27th, 2013

And there we go – that’s club football over for another season!
On Saturday night Bayern Munich defeated Borussia Dortmund 2-1 to be crowned champions of Europe. The all German final, which was nicknamed “The Sausagefest” by certain bloggers, was decided by a bit of Frank Ribery and Arjen Robben magic in the dying minutes. Munich has not celebrated this hard since… well, last October.

What to watch during the off season? Well there’s the Socceroos’ final World Cup Qualifiers, against traditional rivals Japan, Jordan and Iraq. We should be okay. Don’t listen to the panic of the mainstream media. For calm analysis just follow me on twitter @dannymcginlay where I also RT funny jokes.

Keeping with international matches, the Confederations Cup will play out in Brazil next month. This is a dress rehearsal for next year’s world cup and is played out by all the great sides – Brazil, Spain, Italy, Nigeria, Mexico, Uruguay, Japan and of course Tahiti. This blogger is completely on Team Tahiti as all of Australia should be! A phrase you will hear a lot over the next month – Tahiti’s On! [Say it aloud… still don’t get it? Neither did my wife. But English isn’t her first language.]

To end the year I leave you with my three favourite moments of the 2012-2013 season.
#3 Celtic 2-1 Barcelona.
The Glasgow club were celebrating their 125th birthday, and they did it by defeating the greatest team in the world! Fairytale stuff. The only thing that ruins the memory of that night is the music in this video – I really tried to get better highlights. Sorry.

#2 Victory 2-1 Heart
For some reason the Victorians always struggled to beat their cross town rivals Heart, and at the Christmas Derby it looked like the boys in red had scored an unlikely draw – but Archie Thompson had other thoughts –

#1 Cute Kid 1-0 Desire to not have kids.
The Chelsea reserve goalkeeper Ross Turnbull’s two year old son takes over the end of season speeches by scoring the cutest goal in the history of everything.

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February 27, 2012

27th February, 2012

Liverpool claimed its first piece of silverware in six years overnight when they defeated Cardiff City to claim the Carling Cup, sometimes called the League Cup, more accurately called the least-important cup. The match started well, with the Reds’ Glen Johnson firing a cracking shot off the crossbar in the third minute and then Joe Mason, with a nifty run beating the offside trap, gave Cardiff City the lead after eighteen minutes. From that moment on it became a titanic arm wrestle to see who could make the most howling errors. Shots sprayed wide, players passed directly to their opponents, this was slapstick football. Dirk Kuyt accidentally gave Liverpool the lead when he tripped on a deceptively flat piece of grass and the ball bounced from his foot into the net. With seconds remaining though Cardiff City equalized by falling for a classic nobody-touch-the-ball-when-defending-a-corner manoeuvre executed brilliantly by the Reds. In the deciding penalty shoot out, Cardiff proved they were more committed to their trophy drought, and duly aimed for the crowd, giving the Scousers the win.

This next story is not for the romantics. For years Arsenal have dominated the North London Derby and their arch rivals Tottenham have played second fiddle for the best part of forever. Last night though, a change was in the air. Hotspur are having a fantastic season under Harry Redknapp and Arsenal are going from crisis to crisis. The match was running to script with Tottenham taking a 2-0 lead in the first half. Then, depending on your allegiances, the worst capitulation in the history of the game occurred or the most groin grabbingly delicious comeback happened. Arsenal piled on five unanswered goals and broke the hearts and souls of the Spurs. Wenger completely out-coached Redknapp, and as an Australian with Irish heritage I proclaim – HARRY FOR ENGLAND!

The Gold Coast United owner Clive Palmer vs the FFA saga continued this week with both parties mudslinging through the media. United broke A-League rules when they covered their sponsors logo with the words FREEDOM OF SPEECH. Presumably Palmer feels he is being stifled. The richest man in Queensland who is a life member and former spokesman for the Liberal-National Party, who capped attendances at GCU matches at 2,000 to save money is being hard done by and apparently having his human rights violated. As we said last week – Weapons Grade Dickhead.

NB – If next week GCU play with their shirt sponsor covered with the phrase RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS then all is forgiven Clive you comedy genius.

In Italy the battle for the Serie A has heated right up with the top two sides AC Milan & Juventus playing out a controversial 1-1 draw at the San Siro. Both sides had perfectly legal goals disallowed and the gap at the top of the table is only one point. Tensions may rise between the two sets of fans, and somewhere in Milan or Turin, we would be set for the most well-dressed fan brawl the world has ever seen.

This Wednesday Australia takes on the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia in a World Cup Qualifier. The Socceroos have already progressed to the next round so this blogger is expecting a light hearted atmosphere at Melbourne’s AAMI Park. Am already working on some chants about how women can vote and drive cars.

Goal of the Week – Cristiano Ronaldo

December 5, 2011

December 5th, 2011

The draw for the finals of Euro 2012 was revealed on Saturday morning Australian time. Inevitably the moniker “Group of Death” has been placed on Group C, with Current World & European Champions Spain, previous World Champions Italy, Croatia and Ireland. Group A has been dubbed the ‘easy’ group with Greece, Russia, Czech Republic and Poland. England fans are said to be very excited about going to Ukraine and rioting in towns they’ve not rioted in before

Any Australian wondering which team to support in Euro 2012 have a few options –
On a financial level the two countries that have invested the most in Australia are England [although that’s as part of the United Kingdom, it may be Wales doing most of the investing, I don’t care enough to properly research] and Netherlands.

Ethically, the corruptions perceptions list was released this week and the least corrupt country participating is Sweden. 2nd place is once again Netherlands.

For music lovers, Ireland should be the team of choice seeing as they have won the most Eurovision Song Contests. However this argument is null and void once you consider Brian McFadden.

On a purely superficial/objectifying level you can’t go past Ukraine. I’m not racist but… all Ukrainians are good looking. There I’ve said it. Complaints can be made in the comments section.

Back downunder and Sydney FC had the embarrassing task of playing their match against Brisbane Roar at a suburban rugby ground when the Sydney Football Stadium was booked for an Eminem concert. However this worked out in Sydney’s favour as they ended Brisbane’s unbeaten run with a 2-0 victory. The Sky Blues second goal was scored when Roar keeper Theoklitos forgot which sport he was playing and mistook a corner for a lineout. No really, look: [1.22 to go, apologies for not having a better link, if anyone has one let me know]
http://www.foxsports.com.au/football/a-league/sydney-fc-end-brisbane-roars-unbeaten-streak-with-comfortable-victory-at-win-jubilee-stadium/story-e6frf4gl-1226213551425

David Beckham’s LA Galaxy play a friendly against Melbourne Victory this Tuesday which has fans in a state of indifference. With tickets set at $50 minimum I predict this will be played in an empty stadium, giving Victory a taste of what it’s like for Melbourne Heart week in week out.

Rolling Stone Magazine has declared Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho “Rockstar of the Year”. Can’t argue, his post match interviews are preferable to listening to Katy Perry.
Goal of the week

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