Danny's Football Bluff

May 14, 2012

May 14th, 2012

By now you would have heard that Manchester City are the champions of England. What you may not have fully realised is how closely their victory followed the script of a Mighty Ducks film. They came into the final day needing only to defeat cellar dwellers Queens Park Rangers to secure their first League Championship in forty-four years. They so nearly cocked it up. When the ninety minutes of normal playing time was up, City were down 2-1. They didn’t look like scoring, then Edin Dzeko, who will be played by Pacey from Dawson’s Creek in the inevitable telemovie, headed it truly from a corner kick to give the Blue half of Manchester hope.
At this point, Manchester United had defeated Sunderland and if things remained as they were, the Red Devils would have stolen the title from right under City’s noses. Enter Sergio Aguero [to be played by John Leguiziamo or Michael Cera, budget pending] who scored a goal that will live on in Manchester City folklore forever. The City of Manchester Stadium erupted with scenes of such relief, joy and adulation, it brought a tear to this blogger’s eye. All it needed was Emilio Estevez to learn the true meaning of friendship and it would have been perfect.

At the other end of the table, Bolton Wanderers can claim they have been well and truly shafted. Their 2-2 draw with Stoke means they are relegated to the championship next season, however both Stoke goals were highly controversial. A high ball to Bolton keeper Adam Bogdan should have been an easy catch but Stoke striker Jon Walters absolutely shirtfronted the goalie who then dropped the ball into his own net. Bolton scored two great goals and had some hope but a penalty to Stoke was awarded. According to rumour, this penalty was very controversial, so controversial in fact, that this blogger could not find footage of it online. Can anyone help a hungover amateur football writer out?

Sydney FC are expected to unveil Englishman Ian Crook as their new head coach after being knocked back by Central Coast Mariners boss Graham Arnold and Crystal Palace’s Tony Popovic. The appointment comes as a relief to fans of the Sky Blues, as the next viable option was to have the player’s Mums and Dads take turns managing the club on a weekly basis.
Goal of the week: Forgive the horrid music, but admire the blatant audacity!

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