Danny's Football Bluff

December 17, 2012

December 17th 2012

Western Sydney Wanderers piled extra misery on their crosstown rivals Sydney FC on Saturday night, beating the Sky Blues 2-0 and condemning them to the bottom of the A-League table. As if by divine intervention a rainbow appeared over the Sydney Football Stadium linking the two sets of fans. After kick off however, the atmosphere was less gorgeous with flares thrown and an unconfirmed number of arrests. Which is either a dazzling display of passion or the most outrageous behaviour in the history of sports, depending on which newspaper you read. The Melbourne Derby is this weekend and promises much of the same excitement, except with better coffee and worse weather.

Fans were also criticised in Adelaide after the Reds defeated Wellington 3-1. Phoenix striker Paul Ifill claims he was racially abused by certain members of the Adelaide support. This follows bad conduct at Hindmarsh last week when Melbourne Victory fans complained of having coins thrown at them by Adelaide supporters. “It’s better to light a candle than curse the darkness” was the mantra of one Victory fan, who allegedly gathered up all the coins and used them to buy beer.

Lionel Messi has broken the record for most goals in a calendar year – or has he? The Zambian Football Federation has claimed that in 1972 a striker named Godfrey Chitalu scored 107 goals. FIFA have stated they do not keep databases of every match in every league ever played so the record is impossible to verify. In this case however, they are both wrong as the actual record holder for most goals in a season is held by me, when I scored 213 goals in my backyard in 2004. Sponsorship enquiries can be made at dannymcginlay.com

For the first time since May, QPR are on the winners list! Under new manager Harry Redknapp, the west London club beat neighbours Fulham. Clearly what was holding them back was paying income tax.
Goal of the Week:

February 27, 2012

27th February, 2012

Liverpool claimed its first piece of silverware in six years overnight when they defeated Cardiff City to claim the Carling Cup, sometimes called the League Cup, more accurately called the least-important cup. The match started well, with the Reds’ Glen Johnson firing a cracking shot off the crossbar in the third minute and then Joe Mason, with a nifty run beating the offside trap, gave Cardiff City the lead after eighteen minutes. From that moment on it became a titanic arm wrestle to see who could make the most howling errors. Shots sprayed wide, players passed directly to their opponents, this was slapstick football. Dirk Kuyt accidentally gave Liverpool the lead when he tripped on a deceptively flat piece of grass and the ball bounced from his foot into the net. With seconds remaining though Cardiff City equalized by falling for a classic nobody-touch-the-ball-when-defending-a-corner manoeuvre executed brilliantly by the Reds. In the deciding penalty shoot out, Cardiff proved they were more committed to their trophy drought, and duly aimed for the crowd, giving the Scousers the win.

This next story is not for the romantics. For years Arsenal have dominated the North London Derby and their arch rivals Tottenham have played second fiddle for the best part of forever. Last night though, a change was in the air. Hotspur are having a fantastic season under Harry Redknapp and Arsenal are going from crisis to crisis. The match was running to script with Tottenham taking a 2-0 lead in the first half. Then, depending on your allegiances, the worst capitulation in the history of the game occurred or the most groin grabbingly delicious comeback happened. Arsenal piled on five unanswered goals and broke the hearts and souls of the Spurs. Wenger completely out-coached Redknapp, and as an Australian with Irish heritage I proclaim – HARRY FOR ENGLAND!

The Gold Coast United owner Clive Palmer vs the FFA saga continued this week with both parties mudslinging through the media. United broke A-League rules when they covered their sponsors logo with the words FREEDOM OF SPEECH. Presumably Palmer feels he is being stifled. The richest man in Queensland who is a life member and former spokesman for the Liberal-National Party, who capped attendances at GCU matches at 2,000 to save money is being hard done by and apparently having his human rights violated. As we said last week – Weapons Grade Dickhead.

NB – If next week GCU play with their shirt sponsor covered with the phrase RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS then all is forgiven Clive you comedy genius.

In Italy the battle for the Serie A has heated right up with the top two sides AC Milan & Juventus playing out a controversial 1-1 draw at the San Siro. Both sides had perfectly legal goals disallowed and the gap at the top of the table is only one point. Tensions may rise between the two sets of fans, and somewhere in Milan or Turin, we would be set for the most well-dressed fan brawl the world has ever seen.

This Wednesday Australia takes on the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia in a World Cup Qualifier. The Socceroos have already progressed to the next round so this blogger is expecting a light hearted atmosphere at Melbourne’s AAMI Park. Am already working on some chants about how women can vote and drive cars.

Goal of the Week – Cristiano Ronaldo

February 13, 2012

February 13th, 2012

The biggest story to come out of the UK this week was the grudge match between Manchester United and Liverpool, but more importantly Luis Suarez and Patrice Evra. This was the first time the two players had faced off since Suarez was banned for eight matches for racially abusing the Senegal born Evra. In the moments before the match Suarez refused to shake hands with his rival, despite Evra grabbing the Uruguayan’s arm in an attempt to force some decency into the Liverpool striker. Karma smiled on the Red Devils and they prevailed 2-1. However their fortune with the football gods may be short lived after Evra gloated openly in front of Suarez and a United fan was quoted on a post match radio phone in as saying “Suarez is a filthy racist, like all Uruguayans”.

The other big news in England was the shock resignation of Fabio Capello. The national team manager walked away from his post after John Terry was stripped of captaincy. The English now have no coach or captain going into the Euro 2012 finals in a few months. Bookmakers have Tottenham’s Harry Redknapp as favourite to replace Capello as England manager. Redknapp last week was acquitted of offshore tax evasion by the Crown Court. The contract, rumoured to be worth millions, will of course be paid in unmarked bills to Redknapp’s dog’s deposit box in the Cayman islands.

Capello will go back to his old job of playing Postman Pat.

Zambia took out the African Cup of Nations early this morning with a dramatic 8-7 penalty shoot out against Ivory Coast. The good thing for sports journalists is every team in the tournament is a Cinderella story with a real heart breaking background. Except for that odd year where the Gaddafi family won it. We don’t talk about that.

In the A-league there was a return to more nostalgic days when all the former Champions recorded wins – Melbourne Victory, Sydney FC, Newcastle and Brisbane all took maximum points. To keep with the feel, Sun Herald columnist Craig Foster moved away from his controversial articles and returned to simply stating the bleeding obvious. Foster’s point this week was that choosing a football manager is a tough decision. Dizzy stuff.

The most exciting title race in Europe is happening in the Bundesliga. The top four teams, Borussia Dortmund, Bayern Munich, Schalke 04 and Borussia Monchengladbach are all separated by a mere five points. It’s anyone’s guess as to who will be crowned German champions. This blog is hoping not Monchengladbech after they progressed to the semi finals of the Cup with one of the most comical dives this blogger has ever seen…

http://www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/xogguw_hertha-bsc-0-2-monchengladbach-dfb-pokal_sport
Hertha BSC 0-2 Monchengladbach (DFB Pokal) by goalsarena2012-2

Goal of the Week:

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