Danny's Football Bluff

May 21, 2012

May 21st, 2012

Chelsea are the champions of Europe. The Blues became the first ever London team to claim the Champions League trophy on Sunday morning Australian time. Pundits and fans alike are praising Chelsea’s amazing game plan which was to bore Bayern Munich to sleep then hope that they win on penalties. It worked beautifully! West London erupted with joy once they were roused from their slumber and told the good news.

East London is just as happy with West Ham United claiming their place in the Premier League next season by defeating Blackpool in the promotion decider. Will the Hammers have a disappointing season and be in constant fear of relegation? Or are the dreamers correct and could West Ham maybe, just maybe, finish better than ever before – in ninth place.

They’re not as happy in Turin, with Juventus finally losing their first match of the whole campaign. Sadly for them it was the final of the Coppa Italia. Napoli’s triumph is their first silverware in twenty two years. This rare loss to Juve means of course the referee has “disappeared”.

The newest A-League team has a coach, Tony Popovic will manage the Western Sydney franchise in its debut season. It has also been revealed that the team will wear red, black and white. What the club doesn’t have is a name. According to public forums the front running names for the new team are: Western Sydney Athletic, Western Sydney Wanderers, Western Sydney Strikers, Western Sydney Wolves and Western Sydney Rangers. Proving that Football in Australia still lacks even the slightest imagination.

Mind you, it’s very easy to tease people for not having come up with good names, but much harder to actually come up with a name yourself. So this blogger has done some research to see if he can help out. According to Wikipedia there are nineteen different ways to name a club – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Association_football_club_names
The way I like best is to name a club after a landmark or geographical feature. For example Nottingham Forest is named after the towns proximity to a forest, Ukrainian club Karpaty Lviv is named after the Carpathian Mountains or the Baltimore Americans are named after which country they live in. According to Wikipedia, there are many landmarks and features worthy of note in Western Sydney, so based on their evidence I present to you – The Western Sydney Westfield Shoppingtowns. You’re welcome.

This will be the last football bluff for a while due to the season being over in most nations. Thanks for reading – I will give some updates during the Euro Finals next month so keep an eye on twitter – @dannymcginlay

Goal of the week –

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March 19, 2012

March 19th 2012

It was an unhappy day for Scottish Football yesterday. Not only because Celtic lost to Kilmarnock in the League Cup Final. No really, it’s fine, it’s good for football. I’m not mad, honestly. Just stop asking okay? Sheez. However the joy for the Ayrshire team was short lived after midfielder Liam Kelly’s father Jack collapsed at the final whistle and died of a heart attack. The feeling in the Killie rooms was described as ‘despondent’. This, combined with Bolton Wanderer’s Fabrice Muamba suffering cardiac arrest during his side’s fixture against Tottenham, has made it a sobering weekend of football. For the record, Kilmarnock’s keeper Cammy Bell played the game of his life making nine saves and ruining Celtic’s treble dreams. Now can we talk about something else?

Who can still win a domestic Treble for season 2011/12? Well, Liverpool would need a mathematical miracle to win the Premier League but they could do a League Cup/FA Cup double after they swept aside Stoke City. Barcelona won the Supacopa de Espana and is in the final of the Copa Del Rey, however they are eight points adrift of Real Madrid in La Liga, so they’re unlikely. In France Paris St Germaine may also go two out of three, as they are on top of the Ligue 1 and in the semi finals of the Coupe de France. In other leagues it is only possible to win the double – in Italy Juventus and AC Milan are still alive in all contests, same for Borussia Dortmond, Bayern Munich and Borussia Monchengladbach. So come on glory hunters! Pick a team and get bandwagon jumping before the season’s over!

In England, where there are about eight matches remaining, things are heating up for the pivotal relegation/promotion race. Realistically the five teams that could drop out of the Premier League are: Wolverhampton, Wigan, Queens Park Rangers, Bolton and Blackburn. Eager to take their place are championship contenders: Southampton, Reading, West Ham, Birmingham, Blackpool, Middlesbrough, Hull, Cardiff and Brighton. You may think that in the A-League we don’t have relegations but think again. Last year’s cellar dwellers North Queensland Fury were dissolved after finishing last, a fate that may await Gold Coast United as well. Although that’s not so much ‘relegated’ as ‘disappeared up Clive Palmer’s arse’.

On a more positive note the A-League finals begin in two weeks. To remind you 1st and 2nd play each other over two legs for the right to host the Grand Final. 3rd play 6th as well as the 4th and 5th, these are knock out comps, the winners play each other for the chance to play the loser of the 1st v 2nd matches in the preliminary final which is played over two legs, the winner advancing to the grand final. Confused? Understandable – to be brutally honest, just enjoy the football and wait for the inevitable Central Coast v Brisbane grand final.

Embarrassment of the week – there are many times to fake an injury, I’ve just never seen it done after celebrating a goal. [At the 3.44 mark!]

Goal of the week –

November 21, 2011

November 21st 2011

Brisbane beat Newcastle Jets to equal the Australian record for an unbeaten streak by a club. Sound familiar? It should; apparently this was happening three weeks ago, for some reason they are breaking this record every bloody week. Who is this statistician who keeps stuffing up week after week? Regardless, let’s talk about some other records they’ve equalled – throughout their dominant streak they still only average attendances of 12,000 – matching the Melbourne Storm’s record of dominating a sport that their home town does not give a shit about.

 
A good weekend for Australians overseas, Scott McDonald scored both goals for Middlesbrough against Blackpool and Mark Schwarzer saved Fulham from defeat at Sunderland with an amazing injury time stoppage. Matt McKay started for Rangers in their nil all draw with St Johnstone but was substituted in the 64th minute when the Glasgow side’s fans realized that he had worn a green shirt whilst training with the Socceroos. Security has been placed outside his house.

 
A real Jekyll & Hyde week for Manchester City. They announced a record breaking loss of $309 million AUD for the last financial year, but then they set a new club record of fifteen wins in a row in the top flight. They had a record attendance at their match against Newcastle United, but there was a near riot when the stadium ran out of chips before half time. Yes this really happened.

 
Once again, Sepp Blatter proved himself to be the Prince Phillip of the football world when he stated that racism wasn’t an issue in football. This followed Bulgaria being fined 40,000 euro for racist chanting during a qualifier against England. The Bulgarian fans directed vile chants at England’s dark skinned players Ashley Cole, Ashley Young and Theo Walcott. Why they would chant racist things at these players when you can so easily bag Young for being inconsistent, Walcott for being lazy and Cole for his ex-wife’s horrible singing is beyond me.

 
In other football racism news, Bundesliga 2 side Rostock threw bananas at their opponents St Pauli’s dark skinned players, which leads to the question: WHO CAN AFFORD SO MANY BANANAS THEY CAN THROW THEM AWAY?? Not even Manchester City would be so lax with cash!

 
UEFA Champions League magazine held a poll with all their readers on which is the greatest moment in the history of the league. Despite the obvious blunder in omitting Scott McDonald’s 2007 injury time winner for Celtic against AC Milan, fans have chosen some great moments. The winner was this double save from Liverpool’s Jerzy Dudek in the 2005 final.

First save is amazing but I think the second is more a stuff up from Shevchenko than anything else. You can see all the other moments and vote for your fav here:
http://www.101greatgoals.com/uefa-announce-the-greatest-20-champions-league-moments/115470/
The highlights were limited to Champions League, otherwise this would have got 100% of the votes [NSFW]

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