May 19th, 2014

I swear I wrote a post last week. It just didn’t seem to show up. How odd. Well in case you didn’t know, Manchester City won the EPL. If you didn’t know that but you are reading this I can only assume you are a blood relative of mine. In which case, the baby is doing fine and can you please bring us some soup.

Arsenal defeated Hull City to claim the FA Cup on Saturday night. Coming from 2-0 down was a hell of a feat, and full credit the Arsene Wenger’s men. Last time Arsenal won a trophy was 2005, pre-facebook & twitter. Meaning in order to be insufferable you had to find an Arsenal fan in person. Now they can shit you through the convenience of your smart phone. What an age we live in.

At the same time that Arsenal were lifting the FA Cup, Atletico Madrid were celebrating winning the Spanish title. Next week they play cross town rivals Real Madrid in the Champions League Final. If they win that, then it will mark a perfect year for Atletico. How did they get so good so quick? Well you can go with them having great scouts and development OR their shirt sponsor is ‘Azerbaijan – Land of Fire’ and believe in some sort of dark magical dragon that is controlling them. Depends how into Game of Thrones you are.

Ange Postecoglou has named his 30 man squad for the World Cup. For 8 of these players it will be only temporary joy as the squad will be cut to 22. Many sub-editors are hoping it comes down to a choice between Curtis Good and Josh Brillante.

The Matildas have qualified for the Women’s World Cup next year in Canada. At time of writing they are 2-0 up against Vietnam in the Asian Cup. The qualification process is baffling and I’m on no sleep. So if anyone can explain to me what’s going on I’ll be very grateful.

We will play South Korea or China in the semi final. For more details follow the Matildas @TheMatildas on twitter because the media will give this bugger all coverage.

Video of the Week –
Instead of a goal watch St Johnstone Dave Mackay’s point of view as he lifts the Scottish Cup Trophy!

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May 5th, 2014

So, being a new Dad takes up a lot of time! Thankfully there’s only one more week of club football for the season. So I’ll attempt to write an update for you all.

Brisbane Roar defeated Western Sydney Wanderers to win the A-League Grand Final. The Wanderers went 1-0 up in the second half but Besart Berisha equalized with minutes to spare. Then, in injury time, Henrique put the Queenslanders in front 2-1. Berisha is now hated by all clubs, as he is leaving Brisbane to join Melbourne Victory, where he and Kevin Muscat will battle it out for the title of most despised man in Australian soccer. Events include punching kittens, climate change denying and writing more “I bought a Jeep” commercials.

In England it all boils down to the last week. Manchester City and Liverpool are both locked in equal first place with 80 points each with two matches to spare.

If they both win, then City claim the title as they have a superior goal difference [unless of course Liverpool wins one of it’s matches 10-0]. It’s extremely tense: Manchester v Liverpool. Money vs History. Blue vs Red. We hate United vs We hate United more…

Tomorrow Morning 5am EST – Crystal Palace v Liverpool

Wednesday Morning 4.45am EST – Manchester City v Aston Villa

Sunday night midnight [technically Monday morning, don’t be a pedant] – Liverpool v Newcastle, Manchester City v West Ham United.

There’s other matches on as well but trust me, nobody really cares. Sunderland, West Brom & Norwich are trying to avoid relegation… yeah I thought so.

Oh – the Champions League final is Real Madrid v Atletico Madrid. The Aristocrats vs The Rebels! Go Atletico! Even though Real does stuff like this: [Goal of the Week]

With the oval shaped football season finishing in Australia, people will slowly be realizing that the round ball game is happening in Europe, and things are certainly getting interesting over that side of the planet. In England, both Manchester teams are playing really badly with United losing to West Brom at home on Saturday night. Normally that would be cause for great celebration for Man City, but they were beaten 3-2 by Aston Villa. Now it’s easy to pick on the struggling teams, not to mention fun, but who’s playing well?

Tottenham – who bought a cavalcade of great player on the off season.
Arsenal – who only bought one.
Chelsea – who bought in some great kids and of course, Bond villain manager Jose Mourinho.
And finally Liverpool – who are setting themselves up for their traditional good start to a season then choking magnificently against the struggling clubs. Sadly for Liverpool though, it looks like the struggling club this year will be their arch rivals from Manchester.

In Scotland the ladder is topped by Inverness Caledonian Thistle, usually only famous for being the home of Scotland’s biggest celebrities, Nessie and James Bond.

In Italy, perennial underachievers Roma sit at the top of the table, what’s next? A Pope that embraces homosexuality? Oh.

In Spain the Madrid derby was played out on Saturday night and Atletico upset Real 1-0! In the French leagues, Monaco are playing exciting attacking football, FC Twente and PSV Eindhoven are making the Dutch league a great contest, Porto and Benfica are taking the Portuguese title down to the wire it is all happening! Such a pity daylight savings starts this week and now all games will be played at stupid o’clock and Australians will lose all interest.

Goal of the Week –