March 25th, 2013

In the A-League it’s all boiling down to the final week to see who will be in the finals. At time of writing Western Sydney Wanderers, Central Coast Mariners, Melbourne Victory and Adelaide United are all locked into the top four spots, but the final two spots could go to Brisbane, Sydney, Perth or Newcastle. The big question remains – with AFL starting next week will the A-League get any media coverage? People are doubtful but if the FFA goes with my idea of a releasing an Emu in a woollen hat mid match, we may get on Sports Tonight’s play of the day.

All week World Cup Qualifiers have been played out all over the globe. Australia play traditional rivals Oman tomorrow night in Sydney of course, but what about the results you may have missed?
The most emotionally charged match of the weekend was definitely Croatia v Serbia, the first match between the two nations since the Balkan War. Flares were lit, fans clashed, arrests were made, all impressive considering no away fans were allowed into the ground. Serbia have promised the return leg will be just as firey. With all the emotion no one really noticed that Croatia won 2-0.

The emotions were just as intense at the clash of Azerbaijan v Luxembourg. Although this was not due to past political tensions but the results of the 2011 Eurovision song Contest. The post match dance off ended with five people being arrested for jazz hands related crimes.

Colombia smashed Bolivia 5-0. Which made the drug lords happy, then on edge, then tired, then angry, then horny, then listless, then STOP LOOKING AT ME!

In both footballing and financial bailout terms, Cyprus and Switzerland played out a 0-0 draw.

New Zealand saw off a plucky New Caledonia which ended with Shane Smeltz getting kicked in the face. Melbourne Victory’s assistant coach Kevin Muscat called it “The greatest moment in football history”

Paraguay and Uruguay played out an entertaining 1-1 draw to a sell out crowd, who by all accounts had a Guay Old Time! [I’m really sorry…I’ll stop now]

Goal of the Week –

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March 18th, 2013

Come on people! It’s the day after St Patrick’s Day and you expect me to write a blog? I’ve just done three weeks of my new stand up show at the Adelaide Fringe and Brisbane Comedy Festival, and last night my relatives were in which made the wedding night sex routine a tad awkward.
As for football I’ll keep it brief. [I know I did this last week but Festival season is a killer and I’m the Virgin Australia lounge about to board a flight home, so time is of the essence.]
England – Tottenham Hotspur lost to Fulham, Schwarzer made some classic saves.
Scotland – Celtic came from 3-1 down to knock off Aberdeen 4-3. Especially good for St Paddy’s Day. Ooh Guinness burp, not good.
Australia – a comedian did a bunch of gigs then went out drinking with other comics. He promises he will write a better blog next week. Now please keep it down.

11th March, 2013

It’s a very brief Football bluff this week as most of the country is still enjoying it’s long weekend and I’m about to board a plane, here we go!

It was FA Cup Quarter final weekend in England and the big winners were Manchester City. The light blues thumped Barnsley 5-0, whilst Wigan upset Everton 3-0. Overnight Chelsea and Manchester United played out an entertaining 2-2 draw in a match that had everything: amazing headers, long range beauties and even a goal scored by Jonny Evan’s arse. The replay should be even more dramatic, and answer the big question: who hates Rafa Benitez more? Alex Ferguson or the Chelsea fans?

Sydney FC caused one of the upsets of the season, knocking off Central Coast Mariners on Saturday night. The shock win increases the chances that Western Sydney Wanderers will finish in top spot in their debut season. Speculation that Tony Popovic has made a deal with the devil in exchange for this perfect season are unconfirmed, however the fact that he is slowly turning into a gemsbok is true.

And now for the increasingly popular why you should support, this week featuring comedian, broadcaster and Chelsea fan, the Fabulous Adam Richard!!!

WHY YOU SHOULD SUPPORT… CHELSEA!!!

Because they’re the best looking.

For more brief thoughts from Adam Richard follow him on twitter – @adamrichard

Goal of the Week:

March 4th, 2013

Western Sydney Wanderers are sitting atop of the A-League ladder! The league newbies defeated the Central Coast Mariners and are now favourites to finish the season in top spot. Despite the loss, Mariners manager Graham Arnold was upbeat claiming his team were in finals form, “We’re ahead of schedule, it feels good, normally we have to wait til at least the semi finals to choke so this is nice…”

Real Madrid defeated Barcelona 2-1 in a spiteful El Classico on Saturday night. Barca defender Gerard Pique was absolutely outraged after the match, complaining that Real get all the big decisions. Pique then stated he wasn’t that mad, as Barca are still 13 points clear and he still gets to have sex with pop star Shakira.

Arsenal’s season is going from worse to even worsener. The Gunners were defeated by fierce rivals Tottenham last night, but there may be some saviours. According to London tabloids, some “Middle Eastern Billionaires” want to buy Arsenal, but American owner Stan Kroenke has stated he will not sell. Kroenke has stripped Arsenal down to its most basic squad in years and still charges it’s fans more for tickets than any other club. Speculation that Kroenke is a Tottenham fan is still unproven, but highly likely.

In continuing our “Why you should support….” series of guest writers, this week we are joined by The Age writer and Bolton fan Luke Morris…
Why you should support… Bolton Wanderers.
Manchester. It is shite. Have you been to Manchester? It is shite. Leave Manchester well alone. Half an hour north-west and there’s Bolton. A happy-go-lucky town with so little concern about cash that we pay players to lose. Not on purpose, we just overpay horrible players. It’s part of a three point plan to stimulate the economy. 1) Exit the Premier League, 2) Stay in the Championship, and 3) tour the country’s regional areas, lose, and boost celebratory goodwill. It’s an altruist and emphatic approach that we all could learn from. Bolton. Support them to the betterment of the world.

Luke Morris is the Robbie Cornthwaite of writing, a Bolton Wanderers supporter, and head honcho at http://www.st-r.com.au.

Goal of the week: